Yay, sleep! Week 1 Recap

After my first full (Delhi) night's sleep, I am feeling rejuvenated and fully human again!  That time change is rough!  It's amazing the difference 9 hours can make!  Hallelujah! 

Today is Sunday, so I've been here almost a full week at this point and it's been a pretty good one!  My doctor's appointment with Dr. Shivani on Wednesday went very well, and I was totally on track for my Day 1 as predicted.  I love it when my biology actually cooperates!  No cysts, good uterine lining, everything on track to start shots on Thursday.  Dr. Shivani even remembered my dislike (understatement of the decade) of needles and sent me over to see Dr. Modi again!  I LOVE DR. MODI!!!  Honestly, the woman is a miracle worker in my book.  She's consistently able to get my vein the first time, and she doesn't leave bruising.  GENIUS!

Thursday, Bernadette and I went back over to SCI to get the first shot.  She had to train with the nurses to use the Gonal F pen, and I am thrilled to say that she is a pro at this point AND actually does it with less pain than the nurses, I think.  We have had successful shots each night since in her living room while baby Scarlett snoozes away in the crib.  By the way, I have also decided that since I'm donating the eggs, Bernadette's giving the shots, and Harris is at home playing golf in the US, Bernadette is really going to be my baby-daddy if this works.  She was humble about that and said that she'd just ask that we have hers as the middle name!  LOL!  Again, it seems the best part of this experience is the friendships you make along the way!

Speaking of friendships, I've had the chance to share some meals with Jason & Adrian and Michael & John as well.  Wednesday night we all went out to dinner and ate family style at an Indian restaurant down the block from Svelte.  The food was great and the conversation was even better!  I didn't get to see Michael & John again before they left, and I hate that, but they are an amazing couple.  Strong, committed, good hearts, full of grace.  Their son is going to have an amazing life!

Yesterday, I crawled out of bed around 3:30 and met up with Bernadette, Jason & Adrian to head up to Jaipur for the day.  It's about a 4.5 hour drive, but it was nice to see a different part of India.  Once you get there, it really does have a distinct look about it.  The forts spread out across the hills are amazing and, had it been anything less than 1 million degrees, I would have loved to take one of the elephants up thru the passageways of Amber Fort.  I loved watching the others bargain for their beautiful rugs (in the air-conditioned showroom!) and checking out the fabric offerings there was great as well.  The salesmen kept us in bottled Pepsi and masala chai tea the entire time we were there! 

It's been a pretty good first week so far!  I'm looking forward to exploring at least one of the malls today and hunting down a good kids' book for my little god-nephew.  Fingers crossed that all continues to go well!

I'm Here!

Whew, it's hot here!!! 

I've checked in at the Hilton and will call down for room service soon.  Initial impression is that I'm pleased with the Hilton.  It's clean, there's all of the "stuff" laying around that I might have forgotten (toothbrush, bedroom shoes, lotion, etc).  Their restaurant, lounge, cafe are open 24hrs/day which is great for us IPs!  Tomorrow, Rahul will be picking me up at noon for the first appt. with Dr. Shivani to do my Day 1 scan and blood work. 

Going to unpack, shower, and eat...not necessarily in that order!

Done & Done...

Yes, travel plans were all done.  However, when I found out that multiple legs of my trip were overbooked, or going to require me to stay overnight in place after place (6 days total travel time!), I decided to undo what I'd done and start from scratch.  So, I did! 

I am now the proud owner of a ticket to and from Delhi with only 1 stop each way!  Can I get a whoo hoo?!?!  It cost us a good hunk of change, but, I will be there in about 20 hours rather than the days it was going to take.  In doing that, I've also added a day onto the beginning of the trip, and 4 days onto the end just in case the cycle doesn't come according to my time-frame.  With PCOS, the absolute hardest thing to do is track a cycle accurately...even on birth control.  In fact, there was only one time when I could tell you exactly when things were going to happen, and that was after being on BCPs for almost 2 years solid. 

The best part of this change process is that I found a cheaper price for the Hilton ($29 less).  I've filed the forms with Hotels.com and am hopeful they'll refund the difference like they advertise!  You know, $29 x 14 nights = $406 back in my pocket.  That would help with the Indian expenses quite a bit!  I'll update as to the answer I get from Hotels.com.  

One and a half days more of school!!!  I am so excited to put my kids on the bus Thursday.  Would it be rude to just ask them to not get off Thursday morning?  Hmmm...... 

Just to clarify...

Okay, so I totally felt like I was whining and being a wimp last night after that post.  Just to clarify, I don't NEED to be taken care of.  HOWEVER, it is somewhat of a comfort to know that while under general anesthesia, there is a butt on the couch right outside the door that's waiting and watching to make sure things are all swell.  Again, not a helpless female.  Just a little bit of a nervous Nelly right now.  Not to worry though, I found my big-girl-panties, have put them on, and am making forward progress!

On another positive note, we went today and had our end of life documents done.  We had all the biggies taken care of, plus one that will allow Harris to act on my behalf should an offer come in our house (also watch for pigs to fly that day).  It's interesting that you think you've prepared yourselves, asked all the questions, made all of the decisions, and checked all of the boxes...until you get in there and they start asking questions like, "Well what if she's dead.  Would you want him to still raise your imaginary children?"  Or, "You realize for that to be viable, he would be 90 years old and still mentally competent, right?"  Um, no, we hadn't realized that, thanks.  Basically, we ended up having to think thru some additional things and get the paperwork just right.  It's done now, and we do feel good about everything.  Our homework from the attorney was to get our secondary beneficiaries lined up with our wills now.  When we first got the policies, we were young enough (and newly married enough) that we thought we were getting ahead of the game in having them.  Turns out just putting down each others' name is not enough. 

So, after a day filled with talk of my dying, Harris dying, our primary, secondary, and tertiary beneficiaries dying, etc. I'm trying to re-focus my thoughts on living.  Specifically, new life in the form of a much coveted baby for Harris and I.  Just the possibility of saying those magic words involving us and a baby, get's me choked up.  I dare not say them now for fear that I may somehow jinx us.  But, that said, I'm so ready to start this cycle!  

Hodgepodge...

Friday night, my mom and I went to the movies to see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.  Apparently, that need to flow with all things Indian crosses oceans and continents because it took us 2 showtimes, 3 movie theatres, and 2 forms of payment in order to make it to the film.  Despite the severe thunderstorms raging outside, I laughed so hard I cried in the first 45 minutes...until the power went out in the theatre and EVERYTHING went dark.  By the way, we were the only 2 people in the theatre.  Apparently, when you're in a theatre with only 1 other person, you are at the bottom of the priority list for being told anything about what's going on.  While being in there with just my mom helped to control the "chaos", it did little to help with the OH MY GOD feeling that comes with having watched one too many scary movies.  Thank goodness for cell phone flashlight apps!!!

It's been a while since the last update.  While I have wanted to update, it's been like living on a roller coaster lately.  The bad stuff has been nightmares, finding myself the oddball in a picture with friends who were all holding their babies, my mom deciding to not go to Paris with me, money, money, money, issues at work (it's tough working with 65 other women - too much estrogen sometimes!), and Harris.  While our marriage is strong, it's been hard thinking about being separated for so long.  We still really like each other and are super co-dependent.  He's having a hard time with not being there to "take care" of me, and I'm having a hard time with him not being there for the same reason, but in reverse. 

The good stuff has been taking care of the money part (for now), remembering that friends who've had kids thru infertility will almost always remember how it feels to be that oddball in the picture, finding support from a good friend even in the midst of her own trouble, and remembering that Tylenol PM is allowed during fertility cycles. 

School wraps up this week - Thursday at 1:15, not that I'm counting the minutes or anything!  I kind of feel like I'm already half in India at this point.  I'm kind of going thru the motions at school, and at home I'm trying to get all the last minute details finished on the "to do" list.  I'd also like to arrange for a few surprises for Harris while I'm gone.  Maybe a few things to arrive from Amazon.com, a Hallmark card here and there.  In college, one time I sent him a bag of Hershey's hugs & kisses and he still laughs about that.  While 3 weeks is just a drop in the bucket compared to several AMAZING women I know in India right now, it's feeling like a long time for me.

More later, for now, the Tylenol PM is starting to kick in.  Night!

Here's Hoping...

I can do this for myself next year.  When we heard this on tv tonight (by a band called, Cloud Cult), I knew that I had to find a way to use it on the blog.  I only used pics from babies I've met or mommies and daddies I've met (plus Cailyn in bunny ears because who can resist that???).  Hope you enjoy it!  Fingers crossed that Window's Movie Maker likes us today!

Ever thankful...

So much going on in blogland this week!  Congrats to Jason and Adrian with their baby girls!  I'm also keeping my fingers crossed for Kate that things go well with her EC and transfer coming up. 

On our end, we are making some progress towards June - although it does feel like it's taking it's sweet loving time getting here!  My mom's visa application is ready to mail.  I went to Target and picked up the extra toiletries I'd need for the trip.  The only thing I don't have is hand sanitizer in travel size.  Apparently, there's been a run on that so I'll keep looking in town until I find some.  Harris is supposed to put in his vacation request this week so that he can be off and go with me on vacation with my family 2 days after I get back.  I anticipate jetlag and know from the last trip that I'm going to be out of it for a couple of days.

I had an 8 year milestone this week and it's been a tough one.  Friday would have been my grandmother's 100th birthday.  She was an amazing woman who gave her days and nights to raise me while my mother worked and avoided life at home in a bad marriage.  My grandmother was one of the strongest women I've ever known, and she is someone I miss as badly today as the day after she died.  Just a little glimpse into the stock from which I come:  She and her husband were sharecroppers when he died suddenly at 42.  She had a 12 & 14 year old at home, no money in the bank to speak of, and creditors for everything from farm machinery to seed.  There was no "single parent" term back then but, she managed to find a job that would provide her and her kids a place to live (the "teacheridge" - where school marms were housed before marriage) while she worked in the school cafeteria.  She worked everyday of her life to make sure that there was a roof over their heads and food on the table - although it was sometimes leftovers from the school cafeteria.  She managed to buy her own house and pay it off in the late 90s - she was so excited to get that deed in the mail, I'll never forget it.  After she died, we found a spiral bound notebook that she had kept since 1960 with a record of where she repaid each and every creditor over the years.  Five dollars here, ten dollars there, until the accounts were all paid in full. 

Despite being alone, in debt, and having no idea what the future held, she remained determined and kept going.  She never gave up.  I'm lucky to have had her example of how to live, and how to persevere.   But that we were all so fortunate.