IT WORKED!!!!!

Can you believe it?!?!  Beta number was 204.85!!!!

Juxtaposition

def.  "Any time unlike things bump up against each other, you can describe it as a juxtaposition. Imagine a funeral mourner telling jokes graveside, and you get the idea — the juxtaposition in this case is between grief and humor. Juxtaposition of two contrasting items is often done deliberately in writing, music, or art — in order to highlight their differences." ~ Vocabulary.com

 Over the last week...

• One friend delivered a beautiful, healthy, baby boy after 15 failed fertility cycles.  
• A second friend (who was told she'd never be able to get pregnant) delivered tiny, perfect fraternal twins who were born too soon at 21 weeks to survive.  The heartbroken mother and father held their babies as they passed from this world. 
• How does one arrange an order for both a celebration flower arrangement, and a sympathy flower basket in the same phone call? 
• A great-Aunt goes into the hospital with congestive heart failure and develops pneumonia, slipping into that quiet place between life and death, hanging there while a family hopes the medicine will work.
• Harris driving down to the Lake in the midst of raging thunderstorms while I watch the sky for a tornado that is a few miles away.  Then, arriving safely to find out the power is off and likely won't be restored until the next day.
• Floating with my mom in the clear peaceful water, watching the clouds drift by slowly, nice breeze coming from shore, and all I can think is "Please, God.  Please, God.  Please, God.  Please, God.  Please, God."  How can I feel this desperate in the midst of such tranquility.
• Channel 42, news story about a woman who killed her infant.  Channel 43, Dateline about a man who didn't want his wife to have a child because she'd get fat.  Channel 44, Snookie's pregnancy update.  Channel 45, "Forrest Gump."  Channel 46, "Toddlers and Tiaras."
• A friend, who's hoping to start her second career in May (thanks to a layoff), receives notice that she has 6 weeks of unemployment left during her one week break from nursing school this summer. 

Right now, my thoughts on the 2WW are that I want to know.  But, I don't want to know.  If it's a positive result, I want to know now.  If it's negative, again, I don't want to know before Wednesday. 

Please test, be positive.

Passing Time...

It's like swimming thru a pool of tomato soup, waiting for "the" email.  So, to pass the time, Harris and I have spent the last week enjoying time with family on Christmas day.  The day after, I went shopping with my cousin and we spent time talking and shopping.  The next day was spent looking for computers to replace my laptop that was dropped (twice) during our trips thru France.  Just in case you're wondering, computers do NOT bounce; nor do they bounce back when one tries dribbling them like a basketball.  On the bright side of this is my new laptop that's sleek and black like midnight.  It's pretty!

I'm not the only one who has had a difficult time waiting.  In the spirit of "good things come to those who wait" and as means to try and help pass the time, enjoy these...

Packing already?

Over the last week or so, I have begun working on building up the things I want to take to India with us.  I find myself thinking of things in the middle of the night and having to fight the urge to jump out of bed and write down something that I'm "just sure we'll forget."  Now, honestly, I am a bit notorious for going on vacation without the things I MUST have.  For example, we went to White Lake a few summers ago for 8 days and I brought not a single pair of underwear with me.  Funny now.  Not funny then.  Thankfully, the lake is only about 1 1/2 hours from home so we were able to run back and get them.  India is not 1 1/2 hours from home.  If I forget underwear, I will not be able to come home and get them.

At the heart of this mania, I think, is the feeling of loss of control.  I am kind of a control freak and have the urge to plan and supervise everything.  That's not a bad trait - unless you're dealing with infertility, travel visa requirements that force you to mail away your passports, FMLA forms filled in by nosy nurses, and long-term subs who announce their presence in the carpool lane (where totally clueless 3rd grade teachers start giving you the eye).  Suddenly, everything is out of your hands and nothing can be guaranteed anymore.  I'm no psychiatrist, but I know that I am not really losing sleep over what to pack. 

But, since there is no other thing that I can grasp for control over, I guess I will continue to obsess over the packing.  A little tablet and pen sit by the bedside, and there is a drawer in the bathroom with travel supplies amassing.  I have ordered new luggage - ours lived a long, exciting, and valiant life until it hit on the beaches of Belize.  It was way cool to find the new set $60 cheaper on Amazon.com than Overstock.com.  I will begin tossing things into a suitcase this week when they arrive and turn a bedroom into a travel center.  Everything I suspect I may need can live there while time passes v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y until the end of November. 

W-a-i-t-i-n-g  s-t-i-n-k-s-!-!-!