How much more???

We had no idea that our day would end in a household of just 3 when we took our little Sallie to the vet for what we thought was just a minor problem.  Neither of us could believe what was happening when she declined so quickly on the exam table.  When we found the extent of the problem, the choices were bad and worse.  Knowing she might not survive the treatment, and having both been present in that last moment before grandparents have passed - we knew what we were seeing in her was one last pleading for help to end the misery.  We just had no idea.  We had expected to come home with her.  But tonight, our halls are a lot quieter, our hearts are breaking, and we keep asking how much more can we take. 

She might have been a cat, but to us she was our child.  We loved her and miss her terribly. 

Sallie and Spike

Plan, Wait, Plan, Wait, Plan, Wait...

Yesterday, I found a pretty good deal on Hotels.com for the Hilton New Garden Inn.  I had a good experience there last year because of the tight security, the friendly and helpful staff, and the ease of access to the mall area (which also has security in place).  The only thing I did differently this year was to book the package with the breakfast included.  It's funny to me that I could find a room cheaper with Hotels.com than I could with the specials that HiltonHonors was offering me thru email.  Kind of illogical to think that a 3rd party could get you a better rate than the company itself would send to their loyalty club members.

Harris is also working on assembling the last few pieces needed for the medical visa.  He went to our GP last week and got the letter needed from a doctor endorsing surrogacy, has been writing the letter from us that will accept responsibility for any possible offspring, and has received notice that the surrogacy contract is shipping via DHL.  Hopefully that will get here this week sometime.  All this is happening BEFORE we start working with Travisa.  Once an application is begun on their website, everything has to be completed and on the way within a week's time.  So, it's better to have everything together before starting that piece at all.

I'm still in a holding pattern for buying a plane ticket.  Airfare is astronomical right now!!!  Who would think that a plane ticket to THE hottest place on earth during THE hottest month of the year would cost so much this year?  In years past, I've paid right around $1,000 for the airfare.  This year, so far, I'm seeing numbers closer to $1,500.  That's a HUGE difference!!!  Yikes!  Because of the price difference, I'm looking at other airports as departure points rather than leaving from my home airport.  If it will save a few hundred dollars, I'm willing to drive! 

Wow, nothing is simple about this last trip!!!

Simply Amazing...

While writing lesson plans tonight that I'm hoping to do in collaboration with our art teacher, I came across the most amazing piece I've ever seen.  It's EXACTLY how I've felt.  Thinking it might speak to someone else's heart as well, I wanted to share.  Grab the tissues, and share.  Here's the link where the image was displayed:  http://evenifministries.wordpress.com/2012/09/16/410/.

Created by Martin Hudáček

Updates...

I thought I'd re-post the questions and update with information I've learned.  Not everything has been answered yet, but I did receive a HUGE lot of materials today from SCI and we are working thru them to begin the process of applying for the medical visa.  With that, here's what I know for now...

1. When you say that we will "need to come to India to sign the contracts" you don't mean before June 12th, right?  You aren't saying that we'd have to make a trip overseas to sign contracts, come home, wait a few months, and come back for the procedure - are you?    No, we don't have to come to India to sign the contracts.  The contracts have to be signed by the Indian parties in India and then we sign them here and send them along with our medical visa application. 
   
2. Have people been having problems getting approved for the medical visa?  What kind of time-frame do we need for approval?  People have been getting an approval within a 10 day to 2 week period.  This is about the same as the wait we had for the tourist visa.  It looks like it will cost us each about $156 to do this application.  We did make the independent decision to go ahead and get a medical visa for both Harris and myself just in case. 
3. How soon do we sign with the surrogate?  AND, what happens if that surrogate doesn't work out in the process and we have to change?  That's happened 2 times already...are we out of luck and unable to do the process?  OR, do we just sign a new contract and keep moving forward with the process?  The contract will be drawn up with a surrogate who might be the one we use.  But, if something happens like she starts bleeding or there is a problem of some kind, we are in no way locked into that situation.  We can alter the contract after we get to India as needed to fit the situation. 
4. Do we have to have our medical visa in hand BEFORE we buy our plane tickets and book the hotel room?  I can't remember this from the first time we did this, and I don't know if the new law has changed any regulations in this way.  I don't for sure have confirmation of this from SCI, but I have looked back at my records and I see that when we first traveled in December 2011, I did not have the visa in hand.  Due to that, I believe that I can go ahead and book the hotel and flights whenever the price is right.  It looks like I'll just have to show that visa at the airport and in Customs/Immigration.
5. In the "citizen eligibility letter" note, do you mean that we have to contact our Embassy now for that letter?  How does that work?  (**This was the information that said we'd have to contact the Embassy and make sure that a baby born abroad from surrogacy would be eligible for citizenship.**)  Not sure on this one yet...still reading thru the documents sent today - will update it soon!

ALSO:  I can have a Power of Attorney drawn up for Harris and take it with me to India.  This will allow me to legally sign the document with the surrogate and clinic for both of us.  I thought that was very important to share!

Square One, is that you?!?!

Wow, that new law from last Summer has really screwed with every aspect of the surrogacy process!  It seems like we are having to do every single thing over from the beginning just like we did when we first did this process...um, well, it seems like that because we are. 

We are once again asking the basic questions about timing, paperwork, and medicines which held our thoughts captive every moment the first time we did the process.  So, again, we're wondering how and if this is going to work.  How in the world is everyone getting all of the paperwork done in the wake of the new law??? 

The laughter, that has to inevitably arise in times of massive stress, stems from the fact that I'm also cycling off of my anxiety medication right now.  So, below I'm listing the questions we're asking (as American Citizens), and I will post the answers I get in hopes that it can help others hoping to do this process as well.  I know Dr. Shivani's staff will totally help guide us thru the process, but again, I feel like we're starting totally over. 

So here are some of the questions we've come up with (so far):

1. When you say that we will "need to come to India to sign the contracts" you don't mean before June 12th, right?  You aren't saying that we'd have to make a trip overseas to sign contracts, come home, wait a few months, and come back for the procedure - are you? 
   
2. Have people been having problems getting approved for the medical visa?  What kind of time-frame do we need for approval?
3. How soon do we sign with the surrogate?  AND, what happens if that surrogate doesn't work out in the process and we have to change?  That's happened 2 times already...are we out of luck and unable to do the process?  OR, do we just sign a new contract and keep moving forward with the process?
4. Do we have to have our medical visa in hand BEFORE we buy our plane tickets and book the hotel room?  I can't remember this from the first time we did this, and I don't know if the new law has changed any regulations in this way.
5. In the "citizen eligibility letter" note, do you mean that we have to contact our Embassy now for that letter?  How does that work?  (**This was the information that said we'd have to contact the Embassy and make sure that a baby born abroad from surrogacy would be eligible for citizenship.**)

Taking a Day Away...

Wednesday would've been the day when we arrived in India for baby pick-up.  To be honest, for the last few weeks, I've had both dreams and nightmares about phantom babies.  Each time, the dreams are short and I usually wake up with a start and just lie there shocked and sad.  But, a couple of times, I've dreamed of a little girl and when I would wake up, I could actually still smell that new baby scent - the mixture of diaper cream and baby powder.  I swear that I actually could feel little fingers in that dream.  Crazy, right?  Pathetic, probably?  I have given myself the pep talks and the suck-it-up talks over and over for the last month. 

Finally, I gave in and decided to take Wednesday off from work to allow myself to grieve for what wasn't and allow myself to just feel whatever I felt.  Harris took off from work as well and we spent most of the day together.  We didn't do anything to special - went for a drive, listened to the radio, he got a haircut, we had dinner at Moe's, and we just spent time together.  It was nice.

Visa'd!

Received word thru email Friday that Carrie's visa had been approved and would be send back this coming week!  One step closer!

With that in hand, we can now book hotels and flights for June!  Ya-hoo!  We're looking to leave either the 8th, 9th, or 10th of June, depending on what kind of deals I can get on airfare.  I'm looking at the Hilton New Garden Inn, where I stayed last summer, or Svelte.  Both are good options, and I'll be thrilled when I have a room secured in either one.