About Me

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North Carolina, United States
(Allie & Harris) Wife, teacher, patient, thinker, friend, worrier, planner, seeker. These are the hats I wear on a daily basis for the roles in my life. Harris and I've been married since 1999 and we have two fur babies of the feline sort. We have a pretty good life, all things considered. But, it's not complete. Seven years ago I received a diagnosis of PCOS, a condition which has taken a toll on both my body and soul. It will not beat me though and we will be parents.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Sorting thru...

This weekend, Harris and I have been trying to look for some good, clean, safe housing close to the Kailash Colony Metro station.  There have been a few that have caught my interest and look pretty good.  Others I was able to rule out with no issue quite quickly.  Being a teacher, and owning up to my need for some control in this process, I put my data into a table and have also recruited Harris to work on this with me.

Having never been to any Asian country before, I realized that I had no idea how the continent was divided other than the countries contained therein.  So, I went to Amazon.com and have now ordered a couple of guide books that specifically work with the Delhi/New Delhi area.  It is a weakness/strength/disorder that I must know about the place I am travelling to prior to arrival.  I am just not one who jumps on a plane, or in a car, and hopes to find what I need when I get there.  Not me at all.

I am going to also touch base with Margarida and Meg in hopes that they can put me in touch with their concierge.  Maybe she/he can help me find a place that ticks off all the boxes and still meets with our desire for a cheaper place.  I am looking for a place that has a bed with clean sheets, a separate seating area with TV,  a fridge and microwave (small kitchen type place preferred), an attached bathroom (shower must have a curtain or door dividing it from the rest of the bathroom), room must open from inside the hotel, and there must be a breakfast included in the cost of the room, oh and we also want a place where we can do our own washing (either in the room or in the hotel).  Surely there's something out there that meets all those...right?

So far, our list consists of the following hotels:

  • Hotel Conclave Boutique - http://www.conclavehotel.com/ conclave_boutique/index.html - $1,299.64 in their Superior Deluxe Double room for our 17 nights in Delhi.   Really like the property, super close to ISIS and SCI, and ticks off each box except for laundry.  I have emailed them and am keeping my fingers crossed to hear back soon!

  • Star Grand Villas - http://www.stargrandvilla.net - $ ??? - Waiting to hear a price from them.  This place ticks off all the boxes as well except for laundry and is also pretty close to the Kailash Colony Metro stop.  
  • The Solace (formerly known as Sodhi Lodge) - http://www.sodhilodge.com - $1,299.44 if booked on Expedia.com.  The hotel is offering a 35% discount if booked in advance and with the online service.  This is the price for their nicest room and it meets most of the requirements including access to laundry.  However, it is unclear if they are offering to do my laundry or let me do my laundry.  There is no fridge or microwave in the room, but there is a restaurant at the hotel.  That would limit us to keeping peanut butter and jelly type things in the room to eat if we didn't want to eat out.  Could be problematic.
  • The Velvet Apple - http://velvetapplehotels.com/ - $2,185.60 is WAAAY more than I want to pay.  However, this is a great hotel and if my AAA membership would get me a good discount, it's worth considering.  I will email them and check because the rate might be negotiable.  It meets almost all of the things on my "wants" list and is rated #63 out of 517 of hotels in New Delhi on TripAdvisor.com.  No fridge or microwave, but it is very close to Kailash Colony Metro station, M Block market, an ATM, and other amenities that I was hoping for.

These are on the list, for now.  I'm not giving up though.  I remember that Margarida wrote about the place she stayed where they were able to cook called the "Tulip" something???  I googled "Tulip Hotel" and got about 15 hits.  I have no idea where those are.  Hopefully, I can narrow that down if I speak with the concierge too.

Can't believe we're less than 90 days out now from being in India!!!  Wow!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Sticker Shock...

Having spent the better part of the last 2 nights looking for places to stay in Delhi, I must say that I am a bit irritated by the prices of the hotels.  Don't get me wrong, I want to be safe, clean, etc.  HOWEVER, it does seem like most of the places I have looked at are outrageously expensive for India.  I mean, come on - I didn't pay $150 per night to stay in the San Germaine district of Paris, why is it that is a justified price in India???

Up until this point, I have always considered myself an excellent traveler.  I have even planned trips for others to foreign countries (including travel) and been successful.  It almost feels like there's someone waiting to say, "Ha ha - gotcha!  We're just foolin' about the price of rooms!"  ...  But so far, I haven't had that happen. 

Maybe traveling with Rick Steves' approach of "living like the locals" has ruined me.  Perhaps I have rented too many privately owned condos, villas, houses, and apartments over the last decade or gotten too good a price.  I just didn't realize that I was going to have to shell out another $2,000 to pay for a safe place to stay.  MAJOR DISLIKE on that.  If it's what we have to do, then we'll do it.  But, I fully intend to keep looking in hopes that there's something else out there that will be more economical.  I'd so much rather spend that money trying to make a baby instead of paying for the place to stay while I'm over there.  Surely, I'm not alone in this...

On a different note, I have worked out Christmas plans with the families (children of divorce understand the juggling act involved in holiday visitations).  That's a relief. 

Harris hit a pole with his truck - not convenient timing when we're pulling from the equity in that vehicle to put down our first payment.  We will get it fixed the week of October 3rd and then send our payment over to SCI.  It's going to be interesting to have that conversation with the bank people.

In summary, we're moving forward, but with sticker shock.  If you have any other hotels to recommend, please send them thru! 

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

It's a date!

Well, we have a tentative date for travel and treatment in India!  It looks like we will be in India from the first to middle of December for the cycle.  So, those of you who have walked this path ahead of us, prepare for questions! 

The biggest question I have is about lodging.  I am hoping for some recommendations of places to stay that are (really) reasonably priced but safe.  How far out should I try to book a hotel or apartment or whatever we'll be staying in during the trip? 

Harris and I are really excited about this and feel like this is "IT" for us.  We really believe there's a baby at the end of this road.  With such good news from Avey and Suzie, I am really optimistic!  Seems there's baby dust running rampant in India.  Hope the wind keeps blowing it around until we get there!!!

Anyone else planning a December trip???

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Winning Side of Giving Up...

So, it appears that the IUI has failed - started bleeding 2 days ago and I don't think it's from implantation - I will get bloodwork done on Monday to confirm this.  The things that I'm mourning and celebrating about this are really the same things.  Isn't it funny how we can see one act, event, or course of action as both sad and happy at the same time?

For instance, I will never buy another pregnancy test.  When people ask me if we're trying, I won't have to make up a coy answer that eludes the situation - no will suffice.  Harris and I will be able to have sex knowing that we won't be working towards pregnancy.  I will never have to give birth.  See, both happy and sad.

My nature is to be more "Negative Nellie" than "Pollyanna" but I'm trying.  

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Clearly, I've lost my mind...

Birds hate me.  That's the truth.  They really do.  This truth first came to light when I went to my Uncle Jimbo and Aunt Fay's house.  They raised chickens and for dinner we were going to have FRESH chicken pastry.  Being little enough to know no better (and having an uncle with a sense of humor lost to me at that time), I sat in the truck bed when the chicken met the hatchett.  To this day I have nightmares about that evil zombie-like chicken body running towards me with no head.  I also remember being a little girl and having two parrots poop on me at the pet store.  That was just the beginning.  Since then, they have found various other ways to torment me thru my life.  In high school, I couldn't eat out in the courtyard with the other Seniors because the birds would fly down from the trees and swoop at me, their talons grabbing at my hair.  When I went to summer camp, there were bats and small birds that would dive bomb me in the swimming pool - kamikaze bats, if you will - who were willing to die for their cause (one drowned as he tried to grasp my swimsuit).  As an adult, I married into a family of bird lovers who insist that their birds can't fly because their wings have been clipped.  This is despite evidence to the contrary where they have left their cage tops in a determined attempt to cross a room and peck my eyes out.  Oh, and I haven't even mentioned the probably 50 birds that have flown straight into my car and died with a dramatic thump as they tried to scare me off the road. 


This brings me to the point.  I must have lost my mind because last night as I sat in the living room watching (redneck) TV with Harris, I sobbed uncontrollably after "Billy the Exterminator" was tasked to "relocate" Canadian Geese who had nested in areas too close to businesses or schools.  Billy and his brother, Ricky, forced the daddy into protective mode and then bullied the mama goose off the nest so they could put oil all over the hot eggs.  The result of this process is that the eggs would fry in the heat and, once the parents found out their offspring were dead, they would have bad memories of the place and move on.

Watching this and hearing the cries of that mama as the daddy was fighting and then once she was bullied from her nests broke my heart.  Suddenly, I was the mama goose and that daddy was Harris out there dive bombing Billy and Ricky trying to keep his almost-family safe no matter what.  Oh, and the horrible cries that came out of that mama when they did get her off the nest and she realized that her eggs were exposed.  Do geese wail - because it was such a soulful cry that, had she been human, certainly it would have been a wail. 

All I could do was cry because I knew that there was nothing she could do that she wasn't already doing.  She'd done everything right - she'd mated for life and chosen a loyal & strong partner, she'd laid her eggs and attended them vigilantly, she'd fought for her almost-children, and still it wasn't enough.  The worst part was that, according to Billy and Ricky, it would take the geese a few days to realize the eggs were ruined.  In my mind, what I heard when they said that part was that although she would go back to the nest and continue doing what she could to take care of her babies, it was all for nothing because they had put their hands into the nest and rubbed oil on the eggs.  That poor mama and daddy would sit there for another 3 days while their children died in their care.  How cruel.  How devastating.  How relatable for anyone on this journey of infertility.

I know that along the way I have done everything I can to make sure the people I work with are certified, well versed in their craft, knowledgeable, thorough, and careful.  Harris and I feel confident in our choices and our treatments for the most part.  And, we feel like we've made a good choice for overseas surrogacy with SCI should this last cycle fail.  For those reasons, and because of the endless amounts of research/prayer/correspondence/checking behind/questioning that we've done over the last 6 years, I can feel okay and know that I'm not the mama goose sitting on those hopeless eggs.  But man, I sure do feel sorry for her. 

(By the way, Harris had no idea how to comfort me during this drama because he knows my tense-at-best relationship with feathered not-friends.  I'd put a link to that episode, but I'm honestly embarrassed to admit that I watch that show.  LOL!)  

Monday, September 5, 2011

Still here...

Just dropping a line to let everyone know we're still alive.  Hurricane Irene messed up our roof and we were out of power for 4 days.  We lost all of our food in the fridge and freezer, but we're still so much luckier than others in our area.  The Governor is working to have our town declared a disaster area so we can get funding from FEMA to help with the damage and clean-up here.  We're still waiting to hear back from the insurance company 8 days later...urgh.  I called again today and verified that we were on the list - just not the top of the list.

Quick update on the IUI and process to parenthood.  Harris and I did brave the storm to have the IUI.  We've got one more week in the 2WW and we'll be able to make some real commitments afterwards. 

I am still working to catch up on the latest postings.  Jill and Alex, congrats!  Kerri and Mark, I'm surprised you're not on your way home yet, but kudos on the super cute outfits you've found over there for the baby!

Hope everyone has a great week!