About Me

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North Carolina, United States
(Allie & Harris) Wife, teacher, patient, thinker, friend, worrier, planner, seeker. These are the hats I wear on a daily basis for the roles in my life. Harris and I've been married since 1999 and we have two fur babies of the feline sort. We have a pretty good life, all things considered. But, it's not complete. Seven years ago I received a diagnosis of PCOS, a condition which has taken a toll on both my body and soul. It will not beat me though and we will be parents.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

The Winning Side of Giving Up...

So, it appears that the IUI has failed - started bleeding 2 days ago and I don't think it's from implantation - I will get bloodwork done on Monday to confirm this.  The things that I'm mourning and celebrating about this are really the same things.  Isn't it funny how we can see one act, event, or course of action as both sad and happy at the same time?

For instance, I will never buy another pregnancy test.  When people ask me if we're trying, I won't have to make up a coy answer that eludes the situation - no will suffice.  Harris and I will be able to have sex knowing that we won't be working towards pregnancy.  I will never have to give birth.  See, both happy and sad.

My nature is to be more "Negative Nellie" than "Pollyanna" but I'm trying.  


  1. So sorry it did not work out. Hugs from Delhi.

  2. Thinking of you.I can totally understand the 'Negative Nellie'scenario....but I do tend to be and external pessimist and internal optimist. If you set low expectations - anything above that can only be good...yeah? lol

  3. Life is a roller coaster that's for sure. Thinking of you, take care.

  4. Sorry to hear your news. Although it can be difficult, try to see the positive and remember many different paths can lead to happiness. Best wishes, SJ & B xx