About Me

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North Carolina, United States
(Allie & Harris) Wife, teacher, patient, thinker, friend, worrier, planner, seeker. These are the hats I wear on a daily basis for the roles in my life. Harris and I've been married since 1999 and we have two fur babies of the feline sort. We have a pretty good life, all things considered. But, it's not complete. Seven years ago I received a diagnosis of PCOS, a condition which has taken a toll on both my body and soul. It will not beat me though and we will be parents.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Medical Records and Surrogacy Questions

Triumph!  I had the bloodwork done this morning.  It didn't go well, to say the least.  When I left there, I had 5 bandages and enough burst capilaries (sp?), etc. that I looked like either a stabbing victim or a heroin junkie with track marks.  Certainly not my best look.  At least it's done and I can put it behind me for now.  Man, I hate needles!

Okay, so I am in the process of getting my medical records from my reproductive endocrinologist's office.  I have been working the last week to try and get them sent to me digitally, but the person who was trying to do that was unable to figure out the process.  So, I am going to have them do a printout and then scan them in myself when I get home.  This will take hours, but at least I will have them to store in a non-paper copy for myself.  After seeing multiple doctors for the last few years in the process of dealing with this stuff, I can say for certain that you should ask for copies of everything from your physicians every year or so (depending on frequency of visits).  I have also taken custody of all my x-rays so that when they are needed, I don't have to go to every hospital, doctor's office, and urgent care used while growing up. 

One other thing, I am not just planning to blindly send my records off.  I will not send information (confidential or otherwise) to anyone outside of the SCI facility.  When I get assurance that the channel is secure for transmission - and when I know exactly where the stuff will go - then I will send everything Dr. Shivani needs. 

On the surrogacy front, I have been reading thru Chai Baby's blog for the last few weeks and she did a TON of research.  This has made my life so much easier.  In one of her posts from September of 2009, she asks several good questions about care of surrogates during the time they are carrying for you.  Below are the questions: 
  1. What is surrogate housing? Are we talking about a house? an apartment? a dormitory?
  2. What happens when the women are in this space? What can they do?
  3. What contact do they have with their families?
  4. Do they go on outings or are they house bound?
  5. What is the role of the care taker/social worker/cook? How are they paid? Is is a salary or a % of what the surrogate gets?
  6. Are their photos available?
I am writing to her now to find out what answers she got from this inquiry as it was directed to SCI and Dr. Shivani.  When I get a response, I will update. 

Another good link that I found on that blog references information that was put forth by Peter (who had completed the process himself) before writing.  Seems like good advice that is worth repeating.

*If you want to meet the surrogate, do so after the baby is born and in your hands. This is the point at which the surrogate and her family have no negotiating leverage. While they still have the baby, they have negotiating leverage, should they choose to use it.
*Do not get involved in any negotiations. Refer all requests to your
agency and/or doctor.
*Do not give the surrogate your contact information. If she and her family can’t contact you, she can’t make additional requests or demands.
*Don’t appear to be rich. This will be difficult, because as a westerner, and by being able to pay for the surrogacy process, you already appear richer than anyone the surrogate may know. But if you invite the surrogate and her family to an expensive
restaurant or make multiple plane trips to visit her during her pregnancy,
you’ll appear even more rich. Which makes you a more inviting target.
*If you do plan on meeting with your surrogate, coordinate closely with your clinic to understand what they might add to the above comments.

I have my next doctor's appointment to revisit and revise "the plan" on Wednesday afternoon.  Harris has an appointment on Friday to have another semen analysis done.  His last one was 5 years ago and I know this needs to be updated just to make sure he doesn't have a condition that is contributing to our issues.  Last time, he was normal across the board with motility, count, etc.  No abnormalities, no concern. 


  1. This is my first visit here. I found so much interesting stuff in your weblog particularly it's discussion. From the tons of comments on your posts, I suppose I'm not the only one having fun here!

  2. Really funny!
    Anyway I want to suggest Genessics (https://www.genessics.com/es-es/), a very good agency in this field, to who is interested in it :)