About Me

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North Carolina, United States
(Allie & Harris) Wife, teacher, patient, thinker, friend, worrier, planner, seeker. These are the hats I wear on a daily basis for the roles in my life. Harris and I've been married since 1999 and we have two fur babies of the feline sort. We have a pretty good life, all things considered. But, it's not complete. Seven years ago I received a diagnosis of PCOS, a condition which has taken a toll on both my body and soul. It will not beat me though and we will be parents.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Where are we now?

When we got the PCOS diagnosis six years ago, the only person we'd ever known who couldn't have children was my Aunt D.  Neither of us had thought much about how to handle infertility or what methods we might use to go about maximizing out chances to have children.  Why would we have thought about that?  We never thought we'd have problems in that area.

Our insurance doesn't cover anything at all, including meds, once we pass the injections with timed intercourse.  So, we're looking at spending tens of thousands of dollars if we move forward with anything more.  Both Harris and I are government employees which translates into salaries that are adequate but not excessive in any way.  We have been saving for years and have done some investing as well.  Unfortunately, with the hits the stock market has taken in the last few years, our investments have only broken even - better than some have done, I know.  Nonetheless, we have to move forward with caution and look at what option has the best possibility for a child (or two) being at the end of the process.  Our decisions and thought processes may not be in line with anyone else on the planet.  But, throughout this whole process, we've really tried to be honest about who we are as people and what we think we can handle on a daily basis for the rest of our lives. 

I started to write about what we know now about adoption, IVF, and IUI.  I started to.  But, it's too much to go thru right now.  So, let me just say it flat out that we are hoping to do international surrogacy thru a clinic half a world away in India. 

Yes, I have researched it.  Yes, we know it's going to be hard.  Yes, we do know it sounds crazy.
Call it selfish, crazy, wierd, whatever.  The place that I've really found to be the best fit for what we want is called Surrogacy Center India in Delhi with Dr. Shivani.  She has a facility that's modern, has modern equipment, it offers the options that we want as far as housing and care for the surrogate, it's close to a good hospital with the Indian equivalent of a NICU, and there are people on staff to help with the day to day living challenges that we might face.  I know little to nothing about India and I am openly nervous about how to find a place to live, where to shop, when to go out, what places are safe to eat from, etc.  People who have walked this road already, have also written about their experience using (what Americans would call) a night nurse.  This person has come in in the evening and cared for the children so the new parents could sleep.  Seems like a good thing to me!

While we're waiting to check in with Dr. Shivani and see if we're a good fit for her, I am meeting with my doctor to talk about doing a few more rounds of injectibles and possibly IUI here.  We may as well maximize our efforts at home while we try to push ahead overseas.  Fingers crossed!

God, I dread tomorrow morning.  I really hate needles. 

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