About Me

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North Carolina, United States
(Allie & Harris) Wife, teacher, patient, thinker, friend, worrier, planner, seeker. These are the hats I wear on a daily basis for the roles in my life. Harris and I've been married since 1999 and we have two fur babies of the feline sort. We have a pretty good life, all things considered. But, it's not complete. Seven years ago I received a diagnosis of PCOS, a condition which has taken a toll on both my body and soul. It will not beat me though and we will be parents.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Depressed, NOT DEFEATED!

2012's Motto:  You're only defeated if you allow yourself to quit.  We aren't quitting!
Our basic theme of self-pity, anger, and acceptance has run its course (we move quickly) and we are once again back on the road facing forward.  While it would have been fan-flippin-tastic to have had a positive on the first attempt, it's not what we got.  So, we're going to find a way to get over it and head back to India for another attempt this year. 

I get out of school around the second week in June so there would be no secrecy or planning for FMLA leave this time on my end.  For the first time in decades, there will be no baseball in the town where we live and Harris will work normal hours (rather than 100+ hour weeks).  FMLA would have to happen for him again, but our doctor told us today that he'd work with us again to do whatever he could to support us in our efforts to have a child.  Did I ever mention that our doctor ROCKS?? 

Current plan, that I have not run past the wonderful folks in India, would include us getting there around the middle of June and doing another retrieval.  Harris should only need to do a fresh sample the day of retrieval as there are either one or two on ice for him right now.  I will be sad to not have a baby in 2012, as we just knew that this was our year to be parents, but again - we'll get over it.  We're going to work to pay off as much acquired debt as possible between now and then.  Maybe we should start playing the lottery?!?!


  1. Don't give up! Keep dreaming and planning. Sorry to hear it didn't work, but glad to hear that it hasn't knocked you out! We're thinking about you both!

  2. Dear Allie, you have the right attitude and 2012 WILL BE your year IJN. Since the first of December, i have worked a total of 31 days. I am knackered but need to pay my baby bills.I pray that all works out well for you in 2012.HUGS

  3. Hiya Allie

    Good to hear from you and that you already have a plan to focus on. We shall meet again in June hopefully. Take care.

  4. Hello Allie,
    Keep your chin up and let battle commence!!I am glad you have a plan and wish you alot of luck, we are in a similar situation!! thinking of you,
    take care!!

  5. Hi Allie,

    Hoping that 2012 has lots of baby dust for you and everyone else.


  6. Best wishes to you on your next attempt. We are also trying again this year. Hopefully this will be a successful year for all of us!!!

  7. You already said it: don't quit! We're standing by for good news in 2012!

  8. We had two failed attempts in 2009. One miscarriage and two failed attempts in 2010. And one miscarriage and one failed attempt in 2011...and then just when we thought we should re-think it all...success!!!

    So keep on keepin' on and go for it. Your baby is out there! Good luck with everything!

  9. I am so glad you have your plan. Good luck guys and I am thinking about you .

  10. Quitting was never an option for us either! You will get there, just next time!

  11. I feel your pain, and understand your need to keep going...hold your head up...make your plan and things will work out...it just takes some of us longer than others...take care

  12. Allie, can you email me? kerrieandmarkolejarz@gmail.com

  13. Very nice post, and Best wishes to you!

  14. Never ever quit!

    Meg and Toby xxx