About Me

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North Carolina, United States
(Allie & Harris) Wife, teacher, patient, thinker, friend, worrier, planner, seeker. These are the hats I wear on a daily basis for the roles in my life. Harris and I've been married since 1999 and we have two fur babies of the feline sort. We have a pretty good life, all things considered. But, it's not complete. Seven years ago I received a diagnosis of PCOS, a condition which has taken a toll on both my body and soul. It will not beat me though and we will be parents.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Questions...

In trying to think positive - we will have a baby sometime around next year this time - I'm wondering about some things and thought I'd ask my questions here.  If you're willing to share information, I'd appreciate it a bunch!

For everyone - when you came back for baby pickup, did you do a different type of visa?  I have a tourist visa now and was just wondering if you switched to a medical visa instead.

For US citizens - what kind of costs did you have for getting the paperwork done after the birth?  Basically, other than any NICU or hospital costs, what did you have coming out of pocket for the "red tape" part of the process between birth and home?

For everyone - I've been reading about people giving their surrogates things after the birth in addition to the money that comes as the fee.  I hadn't thought about that because the money is such a large amount.  What kinds of things have you done?  Is it more than simple gift basket kind of things? 

Thanks in advance for your time in responding. 

12 comments:

  1. We did all our trips on a tourist visa, includng baby pick up. For our surrogate, we gave her a really nice sari, a couple hundred cash, flowers and a card which we had our words translated by an SCI person. You should give what you can afford, and from the heart. I know alot of people have picked up a nice piece of jewellery for their SM's, or perfume. You do what feels right at the time!

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  2. I got the Tourist visa for 5 years so I'm still using it. 5000 INR for each BC plus 5000 to get an Apostille Seal (I recommend in case you need it for something official in the U.S.) 1600 INR for each baby at the Embassy when they do the DNA and about $780 USD for the US lab to do the DNA (3 people-- the twins plus Duane). We haven't done any gifting yet. Still throwing around ideas as we have a lot of time. Glad you did not ask about NICU costs. Likely, you might decide against a second try;) Btw, did you end up booking the Hilton?

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    1. Hey Bernadette! Yes, I did book my time at the Hilton, so if you're still there we'll be neighbors! I'm crossing my fingers you're home by then though. Thanks for sharing your costs so far.

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  3. Hey Allie.I got a break down from more than cats. On d move now but will send it to ur email OR email her directly. The cost factor is unpredictable in general

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    1. Hey Temmy! Sorry about the email thing - I thought it was on here. My email address is pcosnme@gmail.com. Thanks for sharing this information!

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  5. I've read that applying for a medical visa is a bad idea. From everything I've read, a tourist visa is the way to go. We got 5 year visas because we're hoping to try for a sibling in a couple of years.

    I can't help you on the additional costs because we're only as far along in this process as you, but we're trying to save an extra 5k to cover the "extra" stuff. I have no idea if that is way too much or way too little because I think there are way too many factors to properly plan. Good luck!

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    1. Hey Guys! I've had that number floating around in my head too. By the way, I love the picture of y'all in front of the pyramid! Harris and I are avid travelers too! Of course, we're going to have to vacation at home for quite a while after surrogacy! Best wishes!

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  6. My surrogate was in the US so I didn't have to deal with two out of the three questions. We did give our surrogate a necklace and a card. I wrote about it at http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=1477942682635369144#editor/target=post;postID=2229501579010088476 if you want to see. What was hardest for me was figuring out how to deal with the final goodbye. Although my understanding with Indian surrogates is that you really don't get to know them well most of the time so maybe it's less of an issue. For us, though, we just wanted to give our surrogate something simple and nice that would last a long time to remember her connection to what she did.

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    1. Awesome story, Michael! Thanks for sharing your link and personal experience. Sounds like a nice gift choice for her!

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  7. Hi Allie, realised you dont have an email address on here so you can send me an email to which i will forward you the break down unless you have gotten it from her.

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