The update this time includes our attempts to begin moving ahead on a FET (FROZEN embryo transfer) cycle. However, we have been a bit discouraged and frustrated because of the warnings and ominous predictions that we've gotten. While we appreciate the "reality check" that sometimes comes from doctors dealing with infertility, it has been a major source of frustration this time around. Basically, we've been reminded that the likelihood of success with a frozen cycle is much, much, much, much, much, much (seeing a pattern?) lower and probably, most likely, almost certainly will end with a negative result if we push ahead with that. We're being encouraged to try and come back for another fresh cycle - which we don't object to - because that would give us the best shot...again. One of the best things about SCI, is the honest information and guidance that's given. Having a doctor that answers emails is a phenomena unheard of in the US.
Okay, so here's the question that keeps rearing it's ugly head in our minds - if the FET cycle is so unlikely to work, why in the world did we do so much to fight for having left over embryos? All those drugs, all that waiting, feeling like grapefruit are hanging on both sides of my hips, and then crossing fingers and hoping that we have more than enough eggs. Why did we do all that, if it wasn't for the goal of using them? Again, I do appreciate the reminders that a fresh cycle and a frozen cycle are very different in odds of positive results. But, is it so low that it's not worth trying for half the up-front cost???
I mean, from our perspective, we've got 4 embryos on ice, and we've been talking/debating trying to put in 2 rather than all 4 - kind of the ole "don't put all your eggs in one basket" mentality. If one or both of the 2 didn't survive the thaw, we'd be okay with thawing the other 2 and using those in addition or in place of. The other thought we had was that if those first 2 didn't work, we'd have only spent about half the money we'd have used and could do another FET cycle or *possibly* stop and do a last fresh cycle in June (because God hates me and that's the earliest I could go back - yay, another June in India - whoo hoo). That would give us a short few months to work on paying down the cost of the frozen cycle and evaluate finances before heading over.
Changing directions completely - my anxiety meds are working well enough to take off the extreme highs and lows. I tried one prescription and it had a strange side effect. So, I've switched to another one now. It's non-addictive, and I could come off of it right away with no issues. But, my doctor said he would want to have me not taking it for 3 months or so before I tried another egg retrieval. Makes sense to us, and my goal was never to have the meds be a long-term solution. I just needed/need something to help me get back on track emotionally.
Sorry for being so quiet over the last month or so. I know that everyone who's walked this road understands the need to withdraw sometimes and think. We are sending congrats to everyone who's had babies, received continued positive scans and results, and we mourn with those who are still fighting for that BFP. Hang in there! We'll find ourselves celebrating one day, I hope.