Just to clarify...

Okay, so I totally felt like I was whining and being a wimp last night after that post.  Just to clarify, I don't NEED to be taken care of.  HOWEVER, it is somewhat of a comfort to know that while under general anesthesia, there is a butt on the couch right outside the door that's waiting and watching to make sure things are all swell.  Again, not a helpless female.  Just a little bit of a nervous Nelly right now.  Not to worry though, I found my big-girl-panties, have put them on, and am making forward progress!

On another positive note, we went today and had our end of life documents done.  We had all the biggies taken care of, plus one that will allow Harris to act on my behalf should an offer come in our house (also watch for pigs to fly that day).  It's interesting that you think you've prepared yourselves, asked all the questions, made all of the decisions, and checked all of the boxes...until you get in there and they start asking questions like, "Well what if she's dead.  Would you want him to still raise your imaginary children?"  Or, "You realize for that to be viable, he would be 90 years old and still mentally competent, right?"  Um, no, we hadn't realized that, thanks.  Basically, we ended up having to think thru some additional things and get the paperwork just right.  It's done now, and we do feel good about everything.  Our homework from the attorney was to get our secondary beneficiaries lined up with our wills now.  When we first got the policies, we were young enough (and newly married enough) that we thought we were getting ahead of the game in having them.  Turns out just putting down each others' name is not enough. 

So, after a day filled with talk of my dying, Harris dying, our primary, secondary, and tertiary beneficiaries dying, etc. I'm trying to re-focus my thoughts on living.  Specifically, new life in the form of a much coveted baby for Harris and I.  Just the possibility of saying those magic words involving us and a baby, get's me choked up.  I dare not say them now for fear that I may somehow jinx us.  But, that said, I'm so ready to start this cycle!