About Me

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North Carolina, United States
(Allie & Harris) Wife, teacher, patient, thinker, friend, worrier, planner, seeker. These are the hats I wear on a daily basis for the roles in my life. Harris and I've been married since 1999 and we have two fur babies of the feline sort. We have a pretty good life, all things considered. But, it's not complete. Seven years ago I received a diagnosis of PCOS, a condition which has taken a toll on both my body and soul. It will not beat me though and we will be parents.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Jubilee...

It's so wonderful to see Kerri and Mark's new baby!!!  She's beautiful, adorable, perfect, and everything else a new baby should be.  How amazing it is that we can start to love people and babies we will likely never meet!  What a gift!

So, in light of this celebration - a bit of humor...ba-dump-ching!

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Why does it take 50 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because they won’t ask for directions either!

You know you are trying to get pregnant when…Someone asks you today’s date and you reply “Day 21″...

Why do gypsies have trouble getting pregnant?
They have crystal balls.

One ovary says to the other ovary, "Hey, did you order any furniture?"
The other ovary says, "No, why?"
"There are a couple of nuts outside trying to shove an organ in."

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Things To Do During the 2ww: finding the humor in it all.

1. Eat for two - just in case.

2. Convince ourselves that if we somehow go out and spend all the money we have "left" for treatments, God will be forced to give us a BFP. Target run anyone?

3. Seriously consider suing HPT manufacturers because their products suck.

4. Enter the Guinness Book of World Records for "Quickest Nervous Breakdown: 2 days, 2 hours, 12 mins, 7 seconds."

5. Spend an hour weighing out the pros and cons - ON AN ACTUAL PIECE OF PAPER - of making a Starbucks run.

6. Become the target of a conspiracy of pregnant women all of a sudden turning up in the most unlikely situations ( ie: A Turbo Kick Boxing class ) and secretly wishing them an instant case of hemorrhoids.

7. Attack a coworker because they're stupid and it's just time someone broke the news to them.

8. Motivate yourself to stay positive by making a list of all the things your grateful for - and then wanting to kill yourself because you can't find any.

9. Freaking out the general public by approaching the next person you hear complaining about their children with your checkbook open and asking, "How much?"

10. Change your future children names 500 times and eventually settle our your original selection.

11. Undergo crazy fertility rituals like eating cows brains or chanting in Russian to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.

12. Thank God, Hate God, Thank God, Hate God, Thank God, Hate God....

13. Watch Entertainment shows and put the remote through the TV when the next Hollywood starlit accidental gets "knocked up."

14. Bring home abandoned dogs, cats, sheep, lizards and goldfish because you "feel their pain."

15. Stay home from work because you're having a "blue day" only to find yourself watching "Baby Story" on TLC.


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Two women dealing with infertility were walking down the street together. Suddenly they saw I stork carrying a baby fly by. They looked at each other and one women said, " What do you think that was?" The other woman took out a handgun and said, "Opportunity knocking."

Hope you got some laughs from these!  I did!

3 comments:

  1. aaahhhhhh I feel a lot better now!

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  2. I missed this post..been a bit preoccupied lol. Thanks for the kind words about Cailyn, she really is just perfect.

    The cartoon is cute..should be printed off and put in my cubicle at work!

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